Herein lies 5 things that come to mind about my 6 month postpartum journey.
Every joint and bend in my body just aches. I can tell you every ounce of weight my boys gain because when I carry them I can feel it quite literally in my bones. On a side note: My weather predictions are more on point than the Weather Channel.
4. Postpartum Anxiety
It started to settle in around the time the boys turned 4, maybe 4.5 months old. The feeling of overwhelming drowning & things never working in my favor. The panic attacks have consumed many days, and they’re almost never actually about the twins. The car, the car wreck, all the things were being asked to do at work, the people relying on me for help & guidance. It’s not the kids, it’s everything else. Some days are completely fine, I go unscathed. Other days I live on the brink.
I’ve heard parents don’t have time to read. Try being a twin mom. I’m currently listening to Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire on audiobook on my drives in the morning & afternoons. It provides me with a way to decompress because it is so noisy inside my head.
2. A Better Husband, Than I Am A Wife
Nathan seemingly has infinite patience with me. I can’t imagine being him on my hard days. Coming home to a maxed out wife and two infants after doing manual labor all day? Sheesh. I don’t know if he just arises to the challenge or if it’s specifically being a dad that’s done it, but he rises above the chaos and stabilizes our home.
1. 2 Happy Boys
For all the chaos and aches, tears and pains the twins remain two happy little clams. Growing and laughing, cuddling and cooing. They seem immune to the hardships that they have their tiny little hands in. I wouldn’t trade them for all the potatoes in the world.
Which is saying something, if you know me.