Just a Little Request

Dear Babies,

My heart absolutely breaks over the idea of you getting older. So please, don’t. I wish you’d stay this small always, in so many ways, I really wish this. I love you, small babies. I love the way you smell after a bath, warm & indescribable-baby-scented. I love your little gummy smiles, mouths unchecked with evil teeth. I love how your whole face lights up when I talk or sing to you. I love watching your little hairs grow, remember when you didn’t even have eyelashes? I remember. I love the way you hold your pacifiers in with tiny, closed fists. I love how you long to be held, to cuddle, to snuggle with me. I love how you make me feel important, needed, & the most special woman in the world.  I love how you don’t think to doubt me, but instead always trust me to care for you. Little babies I think and talk about you all the time, and I love sharing pictures of you. I love hearing other people vocalize the things I see in you, how beautiful, happy, funny, & precious you are. Please don’t get bigger, babies, I’m scared of what the word will do to you. I’m so scared I can’t protect you from the evil in this world. Can you please stay small? Small enough that I can pick you up & hold you against my heart. Babies, I love how you now know each other, talk to each other in your special way, laugh at each other, and reach for each other. I love the way you play with your dad and the people you’re turning us into. Can you stay so small? So small that when you wake up in the night your first thought is, I want my Mama, she makes everything better. I love your chubby cheeks & your tiny toes. I love your huge bright eyes & bobbleheads. I love your leg rolls & how absolutely none of your clothes fit right. I love how you sleep in longer chunks now, and how big you can yawn. I love how your problems are so limited. Hunger, wet diaper, exhaustion, or loneliness. I love how easy it is to soothe away your tantrums and how forgiving people are when I take you out in public. Little babies, I love how you love blankets, music, and me. Honestly, what if you grow up & you quit loving me as much as you do now? I don’t know if I can handle it. So I’m asking you the impossible, little babies, I know, but can you still little as long as a little while can last? Just a little while longer, please, cause I’d like to make it last. 

Love,

Mama

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